the beginning

I don’t know why I’m writing this.  I’d like to think it’s going to help me.  I’d especially like to think it’s going to help others.  I’m not certain of either of those but right now it seems like something I should try.

My name is Allison. I’m 24 now but I’m turning 25 in a little over a month. I live in Chicago with my parents and I work in the city.  I work in media, I like to drink, I don’t read enough, I’m attempting to be more physically active, I’m a sucker for theme parties, I have great friends, I am constantly on the hunt for new music, I have an amazing boyfriend, I eat a lot of taco bell, and on most days I’m pretty boring.  Oh, and my dad is dying.

My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 12/20.  Merry Christmas to us!  At first I was trying so hard to believe that we caught it early and that we’d have a wealth of treatment options available to us.  I was wrong.  It was stage 4, the prognosis for pancreatic cancer is grim, and my whole world fell apart.  So in a very short amount of time I had to accept a lot of different things.  My dad is dying, he won’t be at my wedding, he won’t meet his grandchildren, he might not even be here this summer.  That’s a lot for any normal person to take in but here I am… I’m only 25 and I feel like I still need my dad for so many things.

So what’s the point of this?  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m just getting all my frustrations and emotions out.  Maybe there’s this community of 20-something people who have lost their parents and I’m trying to be a part of it.  Maybe I’m hoping someone down the line finds themselves in a similar situation and this helps them out.  I honestly don’t know what this is going to accomplish.  But it’s here and I’m here and we’re just going to take this one day at a time.

 

 

Allison

 

 

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the beginning

10 thoughts on “the beginning

  1. I’m so very sorry to hear all this, I can’t imagine how hard these weeks have been for you, I wish I could give some amazing words of comfort all I can say is I hope you can make the most of the time you have with your Father.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Good luck, enjoy it as much as you can. I hope you keep blogging, I went through a tough year and lost someone very dear to me, I really found writing everything down helped ease the pain of carrying all the stress and worry around.

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  2. Hi Allison, I’ve just found your page and finished reading about your dad, I’m so sorry for you. I lost my dad to Pancreatic Cancer about 17 years ago. It was a pretty quick demise for my dad, he hadn’t been diagnosed for that long and the whole thing was a shock. I feel for you and hope that you can enjoy being with him while you can. Make the most of your time with him, none of us really know when it’s our time and I truly believe we have to make the most of every single day. Every day of our lives. I send you warm wishes. Keep writing, it helps.

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    1. Thanks so much! I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Things are moving pretty quickly here too although he’s really ok right now. You wouldn’t know he was sick just by looking at him. I appreciate your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So, so sorry to hear that your dad’s been diagnosed and that you’re going through this with your family. Make the most out of the time you have, and don’t focus on the bad. Be prepared for it, but don’t let it take over what you guys say or do. Thinking of you and your family.

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  4. thehipsterimposter says:

    Hey, I’m so so sorry to hear about what’s going on with you, your family and with your Dad, it’s heartbreaking. My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last January, and we lost him 10 days later; it’s just been the year anniversary. I feel for you so much, it’s something just crushing and indescribable. As everyone is saying, make the most of every minute and cherish that time. Hopefully writing about it will help to express the feelings you have and remember you’re not alone. Being so young is so difficult too. My thoughts are with you all

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    1. God I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and how quickly it all happened. I can’t even imagine! We’re making every day great together and having fun… all we can do really. Thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate them.

      Liked by 1 person

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