The first holiday

So yesterday was my boss’ birthday so me and 3 other coworkers ran to Hallmark to get him balloons and a card.  As soon as we walked into Hallmark I got punched in the stomach.

“Father’s Day is right around the corner!  Don’t forget to show dad how much you love him! Get dad the gift he’ll love! Father’s Day is June 19th!”

There it was dead center in the front of the store.  A huge table filled with model cars, golf memorabilia, Bears apparel, and other little kitschy items that dad’s don’t actually want on Father’s Day.  I know Father’s Day is coming and I’ve mentioned before how I know it’s going to straight up suck for me but when I saw it right there, all laid out on a table, it took everything I had to not burst out into tears.

I really like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  I think it’s sweet seeing everyone’s throwback pictures of their mom’s and dad’s on facebook and the nice things people write about their parents.  I was just recently getting really good at gift giving too!  My dad got into golf pretty seriously in just the last 3 years or so and it was really fun to get him new golf things that he could get excited about.  We usually spend both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day with the Murrays at their house since we’ve basically merged into one big family.  Last year was a great Father’s Day.  It was beautiful out and we spent the afternoon drinking on the Murray’s deck, cooking out, and swimming. I’m glad that was how our last Father’s Day went.

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Father’s Day 2015

I’m nervous about this Father’s Day.  All day yesterday I let it eat at me.  I sat at my desk all day fighting back tears because I kept thinking “what am I going to do? I just don’t know what I’m going to do. How am I going to feel?  What kind of day will it be like?” Part of me thinks I will be fine.  I’ll go to the Murray’s and I’ll celebrate my dad and Mr. Murray just like I did any other year.  The other part of me thinks I’ll just lay in bed all day and not speak to anyone.  But that’s the worst part… I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with this.  The other thing that popped into my head yesterday brought me back to that stupid Hallmark store.  There are people in my life who are like fathers to me that I’ll need to buy cards for.  So that means I will have to muster up the strength, walk back into that Hallmark, go past that Father’s Day display, walk into the Father’s Day card aisle, read numerous Father’s Day cards until I find the right one, and walk out of there without actually buying one for my own dad.  I’m sorry but just typing that out has me emotionally exhausted.

If you’re my friend please do me a favor.  Take Father’s Day seriously this year.  Tell your dad how much you love them, buy them the stupid thing they wanted, show them you appreciate all the things they do for you.  Just be grateful for what you have.

I know Father’s Day is going to suck… I guess I just didn’t realize how much this day was going to get to me before it actually came.

Allison

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The first holiday

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