Ok so I’m going to talk a little bit about cancer. So it kind of involves cancer but the event itself doesn’t. Why don’t I just explain instead of prefacing my own blog post?
On Friday I’m headed down to Disney again. Recently my neighbor, who is like a little sister to me, moved to Florida to live down there with her boyfriend and work. I was dragging my feet on taking time off (because I don’t get a lot of it) to go and see her so Zack stepped in and decided for me. He booked us flights down to Orlando and surprised me! So we leave early Friday morning and we come back late Sunday night.
Disney is one of my favorite places because I’ve made such lasting memories there with my family. Our trips to Disney are some of my earliest memories and now that my dad is gone they are memories that I will forever cherish. The last trip I went on was in February which you can read about it here and here. To sum it up though, that trip was both lovely and horribly stressful. About a week before the trip my dad started to feel really sick so we were on edge about whether or not he’d even decide to go. Ultimately he went and he had a great time but it was really obvious that he was in pain for a lot of it. So that made the trip really stressful for my mom and I. He handled it like a champ but we couldn’t help but constantly worry about if we were walking too fast or if it was too hot or if we needed to take a break. It was a much needed trip to Disney but it was a much different trip to Disney.
I think Zack maybe knew too that I needed a break. Things at work have been stressful and he knows that Disney always seems to cheer me up. He’s told me that he wants this trip to be stress free- the trip I deserved to have back in February. I don’t know what I did right in this world to catch a guy like Zack.
Although this trip is exciting and I’ve enjoyed planning it I’ve certainly had my moments. Once you book your trip with Disney they have this website that basically contains your entire itinerary. You can make your reservations, book fast passes, and set up reminders for you and the other members of your party. The biggest moment I had though was when I was setting up dinner reservations and I saw this.
Part of me thought I should just remove him from my family list and spare myself from having to see his name for every plan I make but the other part of me just couldn’t do it. The reality hit me that from here on out I wouldn’t be making any more plans for him. I struggled with that for a while. He’s been there for every trip I’ve ever gone on to Disneyworld so for him to not be there on this trip is daunting.
I knew this was coming though. I even acknowledged it myself in my previous post. I can’t not go places that my dad and I used to go to because he won’t be there. That’s just torture. I have to go back to these places and make new memories for myself with new people. This trip isn’t about my dad not being here it’s about me enjoying a stress free weekend with my favorite person in my favorite place. It’s just another part of the moving on process and I think I’m ready to tackle this step.